What is Asexuality?
by Lisa Angelettie

What is asexuality?
There is a huge sexual movement going on. It's not about gay
pride. It's not about sex among the elderly. It's not even a
hidden Viagra agenda I'm speaking of. Today, it's all about the
asexual a.k.a. the person who has no interest in having sex.
Does this sound like you?
Case Study

*Monica is 24-year-old woman who lives a healthy and vibrant
life. She has a satisfying job as a registered nurse, loves to
swim, and is in a new 8-month relationship.

What's unique about her relationship is that neither she or her
boyfriend are interested in having sex with each other or
anyone else for that matter. They are what they describe as
"asexuals", and where many physicians and psychologists
would call this a problem that needs to be addressed - Monica
and her boyfriend feel it is a just a part of who they are and
there is nothing wrong with it.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with us. Me and *Jim have
just never experienced sexual attraction. It's not like I'm a
woman who use to enjoy sex and now I don't. That could very
well be hormonal. In my case, I have never had a sexual
attraction for anyone - male or female. I enjoy snuggling with
my boyfriend, going out with him, and all the other non-sexual
things couples do."

Coming Out
Interestingly enough, it seems as if Monica and her boyfriend
are not alone. What was once something that many people
kept to themselves is now coming out of the closet and
members are happy to finally be able to find each other and to
define themselves as asexual. Asexuality is emerging as a new
sexual orientation.

"I'm kind of glad there is a name for this. I didn't feel broken,
just different, and I didn't know what to call it. Now slowly but
surely I'm finding others who are just like me. Like this guy who
started this website - http://www.asexuality.org/home/ - for
people like us."

The Growing Debate
Of course there is growing debate in the mental health and
medical community about the term asexual. Some
professionals believe that people who do not care about sex at
all are either experiencing a physical, emotional, or hormonal
problem. There are many who define humans as "sexual
beings" who should normally desire a sexual relationship with
their partners.

Positive Proof?
People who are asexual feel that this is incorrect, and that is
just the effort of medical professionals to tell them what is
wrong with them in order to fix them. Or it is just out of
ignorance that many professionals don't know about this
community of people. But slowly things are beginning to
change. Concrete research is something most professionals
will accept as proof of recognition.

In a study conducted in 2004 by Anthony Bogaert, a
psychologist and human sexuality expert at Brock University in
St. Catherines, Ontario-- results concluded that 1 in 100 adults
were asexual. That can be defined as 1% of the population
which is not too far behind the 3% of the population who are
gay.

Celibate or Asexual?
People who are asexual want it to be known that there is a
concrete difference between celibacy and asexuality. Someone
who is celibate is someone who has chosen to abstain from
sex - Asexuals have not made that choice. Just as the
heterosexual didn't choose to be attracted to the opposite sex
or the homosexual didn't choose to be attracted to the same
gender - neither has the asexual made a choice - it's just the
way they have always been.

Is this a new thing?
The only thing new about asexuality is the fact is that there is
finally some scholarly study and research beginning on the
topic and therefore it is receiving more media and therefore
public attention.

"There is quite a bit of circumstantial proof that people who
have lived decades, even centuries, ago were asexual. This is
nothing new - its just getting its fair share of publicity - finally!"

Learn more about asexuality: http://www.asexuality.org/home/
Find an asexual support group in your area:
http://asexuality.meetup.com/


Comments?
Lisa Angelettie,
"GirlShrink" is a
relationship & life
coach, author, and
online advice authority.
Visit her at  
http://www.GirlShrink.c
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