January 2023

By Tonia Mansfield

If you're reading this, there's a good chance that you're interested in hooking up on the first date. Maybe you've been told that it's not okay to do so, or maybe you're just not sure if it'll work out for you. Either way, I'm here to tell you that yes: You absolutely can have sex with someone on the first date and have it be okay!

1. You don't owe anyone an explanation

You're a grown adult with a brain and a heart, and if you want to do something with your body (like hook up) then that's your prerogative! You can do what you want with your body without having to justify yourself or explain yourself to anyone else.

2. It's your body, do what you want with it

You’re the only one who can decide whether or not to hook up with someone on the first date. Your body is yours, and it belongs to no one but you. If you want to sleep with someone, then go ahead! You don’t need anyone else's approval or validation for this decision—it's just between you and your own headspace.

You may have heard that “good girls wait until marriage” before they have sex (or even kiss!). Unfortunately for these types of people, there are always going to be other people out there who don't share their values (and will therefore be free from judgment from them). But I'm here today because my goal isn't to lecture anyone about what they should do: I'm more interested in helping  people understand their own feelings about sex so that they feel empowered enough not only make decisions about their bodies but also live with those choices without shame or guilt or worry over how others might judge them!

3. If you're attracted to someone and you want to hook up, go for it!

This is the most obvious one, but it's worth being explicit: You can absolutely hook up with someone you're attracted to on a first date. You don't need to be in a relationship with that person or want anything else from them (except maybe more sex). The fact that you like their personality and their body is reason enough for sex, which is why we have so many aphorisms about "it's just sex" and "there are no strings attached."

There are also plenty of people who would argue that there are strings attached when it comes to casual sex—that it's possible to have meaningless, emotionless sex if you find yourself in the right position. They may be right! But if they're not looking at all into casual relationships as potential sexual partners, then they aren't reading this guide anyway!

If you do want something more than just sex from someone else—if perhaps your partner has revealed his or her secret crush on another person while lying next to you in bed after an amazing night together—then by all means walk away from the situation gracefully rather than forcing yourself into something unpleasant just because someone said yes once upon a time.

4. Casual sex isn't a big deal any more.

Casual sex is common and normal.Casual sex can be fun. The reality is that casual hookups are fun for many people, so why not give it a shot? If you’re not having fun, then stop hooking up with that person.

Casual sex can help you get to know someone better. Hooking up on the first date allows you to get to know someone in an intimate setting while also providing an opportunity for them to get to know you too! This goes back to number one: there's nothing wrong with having casual sex if both parties are okay with it!

Casual hookups can be healthy. Casual sex doesn't mean that there's something wrong with your relationship; they simply want their own space or don't feel like being tied down at the moment (like me). It's okay—that doesn't mean we're bad people either way!

5. Sexual compatibility is important in any relationship.

Sexual compatibility is important in any relationship. It's true that there are some people who don't care about sex at all, and that's fine for them. But if you're into someone and want to hook up, going for it can be a great way to test the waters without making any big commitments. Plus, casual sex isn't a big deal anymore; lots of people have no problem with it these days—even really nice girls!

There are no rules!

There are no rules, you can do what you want with your body, it’s a personal choice and it’s not a big deal. It’s just sex!

It doesn't matter if they're someone that you'd normally want to sleep with or not. If they're into you and vice versa then go for it. You'll never know if they're totally down to hook up until you ask them because if they say no then at least now there's an answer rather than wondering around aimlessly in your head all day trying to make sense of "what happened?".

Conclusion

So, if you’re considering hooking up on your next first date, it’s important that you remember that there are no rules. Whether casual sex is right for you or not is up to you—but it’s important to think about what kind of person you want to be in the world and how that might affect your behavior with other people. If the thought of having a one-night stand has crossed your mind (or even more than once), don't feel guilty about it! It's normal for young adults today to have sexual urges and desires and engage in casual sex without getting married first.