January 2021

By Amaya Marie 

Erick sits on his couch all dressed in winter clothes. It is just 12:17pm and he just came from the liquor store and the sight of all those couples holding hands and kissing in the streets killed him. It was as if the couples were mocking him because he broke up with his girlfriend on the 20th before Christmas day.

He remembers of the plans they had made for the new year and every thing they had promised to each other. She had said she will always be there for him, supporting and taking care of him. She said they would have a family together and how he will make a great dad.

Mia, his girlfriend has always had misplaced anger issues and as much as Erick always tried to understand her, sometimes it would be too much. She would even literally fight him, call him names and like it happened on the 19th, stand him up.

He had reserved a table for the two of them at a five-star restaurant and planned to propose to her but she didn’t come and her phone was off. Everything was perfectly normal between them and he wanted to be engaged to the love of his life before Christmas but after calling her elder  sister, Patricia, he learnt that she just had an argument with Patricia over who would go to the grocery store way earlier even before their date and she just run to her room shouting at Patricia.

He asked Patricia to tell Mia to call him but she didn’t call. Erick went home disappointed and mad because her had every right to be. On the 20th, Mia called and told Erick she was not happy in the relationship and she thinks they should break up. She hung up the phone and since then, Erick has never heard a word from her.

His Christmas was ruined and so was his new year. He was alone, stressed, and always drunk. He has always understood her and tried to fix things with her even if it is always clearly her fault. Mia however doesn’t like being corrected. She thinks she is always right and says she has every right to be angry which of course is true but she is always angry at the wrong people.

Today is on the 30th and he still cannot stop thinking about her. Her phone is always off each time he tries to reach her and he feels he has bothered Patricia enough already. She has never called or even bothered to text him but his feelings towards her still overwhelm him. He wants to at least know what he did wrong and why she treated him the way she did.

To him, the plans they made still matter to him and he cannot imagine life without her.  She might have given up on him but he hasn’t and if he cannot change his mind, it will only be fair if she clarifies everything to him.

He drinks the last sip of tequila and blacks out on the couch.

“I love you Mia.” These are his last words before he is slightly snoring and the bottle falls off his hands.

****

Jingles and New year songs wake him from his peaceful nap. He yawns and stretches sitting upright on the couch. The winter clothes are killing him with heat so he takes them off leaving him with a light sweater and khaki pants. He stares at his phone and every gut in his being is telling him to contact her.

“No, Mia…… She doesn’t want me.” He says standing and staggering to the kitchen. He takes an energy drink and takes a gulp hoping it will help him sober up. He hates being this drunk but she really messed him up.

He returns to the couch and takes his phone. He hesitates then taps on Patricia’s number then dials it. He takes a deep breath but immediately hangs up when he hears her voice. His hands are shaking and he is constantly taking deep breaths.

It doesn’t take long before his phone starts ringing. It is Patricia of course. He wants to hang up but he also wants to know if Mia is okay. He will also look stupid if he just hangs up because he is the one who called her first.

“Erick.” Patricia calls in a soft calm voice.

“Yeah, hey. How are you?” He says trying to sound as sober as he possibly can.

“I am good but it is you I am worried about. How are you?” She asks clearly concerned.

“Yeah, I…. I uhm…. I am fine. Yeh, I’m fine. How is she?” He asks hoping to divert the conversation.

“I honestly don’t know. She wont talk to anyone even my parents. She just stays in her room and comes out wearing headphones so we don’t talk to her.”

“Wow, that’s bad.”

“Yeah, it is and even my parents are worried now. I think you should come and try talking to her.”

“No, no no no Patricia. I can’t do that because she is the one who broke up with me. I think it would be best if both of us moved on.”

“But are you sure that’s what you want Erick? You still care about her and that’s why you called to hear how she is fairing. Please just try to help her and if you want to move on like you say, then do this for me, as your friend.” She says and hangs up leaving Erick confused. He takes another gulp of the energy drink and combs his hair with his hand.

“Damn it.” He says and goes up stairs to take a hot relaxing shower. He wears his favorite navy-blue suit and white shirt. This outfit always makes him look elegant. It somehow makes his beige complexion glow and compliments his black short hair.

He takes a long black winter jacket; a black winter hat a pair of black winter gloves gloves then leaves his house. He has decided to go see Mia for Patricia’s sake and also for clarification. He feels he really didn’t deserve that kind of treatment especially from her.

He decides to walk because he wants to plan what he should say to her plus it is only a 45 minutes’ walk to her house.

“Mia, why did you do that to me? What did I do to you?” He rehearses as he walks ignoring everyone and everything around him.

“Did you even ever love me? Did I mean anything to you? Stop it Erick. Everything is going to be okay. You got this. Its only Mia and you have known her for four years now so you’ll know exactly what to say.”

He knocks at her door and her mother answers.

“Oh hey, Erick. Come on in.” She says clearly startled.

“Uhm thanks but I don’t want to stay long. Is Mia in?

“Yeah. In her room. I will go try to get her for you.”

“Thank you so much ma’am.”

He says and looks around him. Lucky for him, it hasn’t snowed till morning so the weather of fairly friendly. The time is 4:19pm which explains why he feels so hungry. He only had light breakfast then went to the liquor store.

Five minutes later and Mia hasn’t come out yet or her mother. He thinks of leaving but decides to wait for five more minutes.

After like three minutes, the door slowly opens earning his attention. Mia is revealed and she is a complete mess. Her eyes are red and sore, her lips are chapped and her hair is unkempt. She is wearing pajamas and a pair of slippers.

“Hey.” She says in a weak voice.

“Go get ready. We are going for a walk.” He says unsure of the impact his sentence might have on her. He has never seen her this messed up and she clearly needs to be actively engaged somehow.

“I am not going anywhere.” She says crossing her arms on her chest.

“Yes, you are. Now go get ready. I will wait right here.” He says facing in the opposite direction. He doesn’t know where he got the courage to talk to her the way he just did but she clearly needs help and he hates seeing her that way.

He is starting to think of leaving twenty minutes after Mia closed the door and went back inside the house when again, the door slowly opens.

It is Mia and she looks, well, better. Her eyes are still sore but her hair can be seen is at least combed under the brown winter hat and her lips are also looking better. She is wearing a brown winter jacket and black winter boots. All this compliments her blonde hair and warm ivory complexion.

She walks past him and starts walking towards the direction Erick came on. He follows her and for a while no one says anything.

“You wanna talk to me maybe?” Erick finally asks.

“About what?” She replies in a neutral tone.

“Everything. Us, you, why did you break up with me Mia?

“Because I had no choice.”

“What do you mean you had no choice? Did you even consider my feelings? Please tell me what I did wrong.”

She doesn’t say anything and for a few minutes, there is silence again.

“Hungry?” Erick asks again and she nods after hesitation.

“Come on.” He says leading her to a restaurant nearby.

They make their orders and remain quiet until they finish eating. Erick looks outside through the window and snow has started again.

“Come on, lets go if you are comfortable with that.” Mia stands and goes to the door as Erick pays the bill. The snow is slightly heavy and Erick notices Mia is trying to warm her hands as they walk towards nowhere at this point. She forgot to wear winter gloves

“Here, you can borrow mine.” Erick says handing her his pair of gloves. She responds with a smile then takes them.

“I did not hurt you intentionally Erick.” She says suddenly.

“Then what?”

“I was and still am a toxic person and you don’t deserve to be with me.”

“What do you mean toxic?”

“It just means that I am not the right girl for you or anybody and I have made my peace with that. You have to do it too. Move on, find someone who really loves you and doesn’t get angry on you because of something someone else did.”

Erick is speechless and looks at her surprised. Snow is building on them making them cold despite of their clothing.

“So, you didn’t love me hah?” He manages to ask. She just looks at him and doesn’t say anything.

“I need to go home. The snow is getting heavy and I think that was enough walk for one day.” She says then stands.

“We…we can go to my house. It’s closer and it is only until the snow reduces.” He says in a low tone.

“Okay” She says and follows him.

****

“Want anything?” Erick says closing the door. He increases the room temperature and removes his winterwear.

“No, I’m good.” She says doing the same. She is wearing black jeans and a black polo neck shirt.

This is followed by an uncomfortable silence until Mia finally speaks.

“Listen, I know I am not like all the others. I am a mess, stupid, and a big looser and that’s why I don’t want to be in your life. I didn’t want you to suffer just because you were in love with me.”

Erick sits opposite Mia just looking at her.

“So, you thought just because you don’t want to be in my life, I don’t want you in it?”

“I always hurt you Erick for the things you are not to blame for.”

“That’s the point, you know it so you can decide to change that. I was willing to endure all that Mia but you threw it all away.”

“I’m so sorry. I though you would get tired of putting up with me.”

“listen to me Mia,” he says going towards her and sitting next to her. “I loved you and was always ready to overlook all your flaws. I was going to help you overcome your problem. I loved you for who you are and I still do, I love you so much Mia.”

“I just want you to be happy.” Mia says with tears threatening to fall.

“I am happy with you. You have any idea how terrible my life has been since we broke up? I have never stopped thinking about you.”

“Me neither.” She says as tears fall down her cheeks.

“Then why are you doing this to yourself and me? Don’t you get it? I love you just the way you are.”

Mia suddenly bends towards him and merges her lips with his.  Erick cups both her cheeks on his palm and gently wipes away the tears as he kisses her passionately.

“I am so sorry Erick. I sill love you and always have.” She says after pulling back from the kiss.

“It’s okay Mia. I love you.” He says picking her up from the couch. Each of her legs rest on his waist and her arms rest on his shoulders for support.

“You sure this is what you want?” Erick asks looking at her.

“Yes, I want us to achieve everything we planned.

Her lips are moist, so soft and she is an expert when it comes to teasingly kissing him. He carries her to his bed and gently lies her on her back and takes off the clothes covering her chest while kissing her neck.

He takes her full round breast in his arms and can’t take it anymore. His erection has become too much to bear.

He stands from the bed and quickly takes off his pants. Mia is doing the same on the bed.

Mia then turns and gets on her knees and elbow before Erick climb back on the bed.

“Fuck” He says unwillingly. For a moment, he is lost in looking at Mia’s round and sexy ass which he has missed so much.

He goes in between her legs and gently rubs her clitoris. She is so fucking wet for him and her desire to have him inside her is overwhelming as she moans loudly.

He finally enters her and the word “fuck” escaped his lips involuntarily.

Her labia wrap around his length perfectly giving him wild pleasure and loud involuntary moans.

His pace is slow and teasing as he wants to feel all of her. His hands are all sweaty and his mouth dry.

Mia keeps calling his name and telling him she loves him so much in between her moans.

The moans from Mia is and has always been music to his ears and he just wants more, more of her, more of her moans and most importantly, her love.

Erick increases his pace in entering her making her moan even louder. He maintains this pace while caressing her until he is almost at his climax.

He quickly pulls out and immediately starts stroking himself. He comes on her back and lets out a huge sigh.

They are both breathing fast as Erick takes a piece of tissue and wipes off his ejaculation from her back. He lies on his back and Mia rests on his chest.

“Thank you. I love you so much.” Mia says caressing his chest.

             “I love you.” Erick says kissing her forehead