Hentai Review Poppers

Your Pre Review Look at Leisure Suit Larry : Box Office Bust (XBox360)

Apparently Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, that evil Coulter
woman, Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the ConservoWhores of the world
aren’t the only ones who live in a state of ignorance… take the people
who continue to shill the Leisure Suit Larry games… please.

Sure the game has an incredibly long history (going back to early
computing past to present day “Next Gen” consoles) but isn’t there a
point where we just say “Enough with the crap, give me King’s Quest or
Space Quest already!”… because, well, of all the alumni of classic
Sierra Games point & click history I’d much rather be living the
future (or reliving the glorious Golden Age of the point & click) with
King’s Quest or Space Quest than Leisure Suit Larry. And no, that
doesn’t make me evil to say I’d rather play a All Ages or Teen-centric
game, especially since I am sure you’d get far more fun out of both of
those than ANOTHER Leisure Suit Larry game.

But for the sake of argument, and to get my Hentai Review Poppers
title back off the ground again, here’s your first pre review look at
Leisure Suit Larry : Box Office Bust for Windows, the XBox360 (where I
will do my full review), the PS3 and portable devices… as if.

Pre Review Look

Leisure Suit Larry : Box Office Bust
For the Microsoft XBox360 and Sony PS3 and Windows/Mac
Publisher : Codemasters
First Impression : Saw it on my last trip to Kona, decided I wanted to
play Mass Effect more than this. Will come back to it later… I’m sure
it won’t sell out anytime soon.

The last time we ran into Larry (or to be more precise his lineage,
his nephew Larry II) he was running through a kinda sorta open-world
sand-box college scoring at his own chosing (I.e. yours) from a large
mass of hot college chicks (and one dickgirl). The game, however,
could only be found uncensored and uncut in Europe and Asia since
America still lives under the oppressive rule of the CensorMongers
Party of Whiney ConservoWhores (who are not as snappy dressers as
Communists but get the job done all the same when it comes to
oppressing people). But, then again, as I said in past review of this
game (which I won’t bring up here since I’m planning a fresh new
review of the Original Xbox version of the game for this summer) I am
pretty certain the extra content won’t make the game any better… maybe
just etche it up one point to a 3 out of 5 from it’s original 2 low
point… or maybe a 4 if we’re really THAT desperate for sex games on
consoles… and I guess we are since we allowed a new game to be made
for the Next Gen of consoles… are we really that desperate for any sex
game that we’d sink to this level? Are we?

However there WAS a reason that I reviewed recently Manhunt 2 here,
and not just because I needed an out on review… it’s because Manhunt 2
spelled the doom of any further sex content in any games like Leisure
Suit Larry… because of it’s rating.

At this point Manhunt 2 is still the only game to almost get the
newest rating from the ESRB, the dreaded AO or Adults Only rating
(which I am sure is getting slapped on every Sex Import game on the PC
every time one becomes available). Now, mind you, if you were
optimistic then you might have thought that the coming of an AO rating
would (at last) begin to pry open the doors of consoles and handhelds
to the by now rich content of adult sex games that have (to date) only
been available in other non Republican slash Restrictive Government
controlled countries… only in the end the AO rating became a “scarlett
letter” branding titles that were sexual or too adult in nature in
other ways, making it now even HARDER to get said games out without a
ton of censorship and hacking on the editing floor pre-release. Hence
the only place you actually see an AO label is, well, on the Ratings
Charts on any good video game seller… and that’s it. To date no
console game I know of has actually applied the AO rating to their
game for fear of being locked out of the marketplace by companies like
Sony & Nintendo (both of which threatened to block the release of
Manhunt 2 on their systems if it didn’t get at least an M for Mature
rating and not the dreaded AO rating).

So we have a new Larry, and as we saw with Manhunt 2 the legacy of the
AO brand strikes again as we find that this new game might actually
make adult game fans go back to Magna Cum Laude more… as that game may
be the only source for actual sexual content of any kind (neutered or
not) after this latest debacle release.

So what does this game offer? Pre review I heard this game offers the following…
- Exploration… yeah, so did the other game. So?
- Platforming… why?
- Racing… racing?
- Puzzle-solving… ohm god it’s true… I already miss Magna Cum Laude
and I really hated that game when I first reviewed it on the PS2. How
evil.

So what is this game missing? Yeah. This game suddenly makes Magna Cum
Laude seem like a rebel because it claims to have humor (so did the
other game but on an iffy it’ll probably be funny if you’re drunk
scale), attractive women (Next Gen does that that effect on women,
even if you’re playing a Dynasty Warriors ripoff hack and slash like
Ninety Nine Nights (N3)), and suggestive times… BUT THAT’S IT!!
Despite the back of the game label which suggests MORE the can is
supposed to not actually contain Nudity or any Sexual Content despite
promises to the contrary… yeah, dig back in your memory and the last
game to promise Sexual Content (only to be later discovered in the
hidden “Hot Coffee” mod that was removed quickly by Rockstar Games)
was GTA : San Andreas.

Yeah. Rockstar Games were pussies to get pushed around by the whiney
conservowhores… wow, this is going to be the summer where I say
“ConservoWhore” many many times, I just know it… oh, the game is
supposed to feature way more cussing than before… as if we care about
THAT! (I want to see people cuss I’d play Gears of War 2 or some other
fun game).

Plot
You’d probably not care to know this info but just in case…

Remember Larry Lovage (aka Larry II), the nephew of Larry Laffer from
Magna Cum Laude? He‘s still not the most exciting… or even remotely
interesting… human being on the planet. He still lingers in his
lair/student home with no real motivation to do much other than watch
porn and - well, if this was Magna Cum Laude you’d might have to play
a Pong style mini game to get that done… wonder if you’re still doing
that here?

One day Next Gen calls and makes him get up from his vegetative state
to do something for an actual sequel game… damn Next Gens! His Uncle
(Larry I) calls him, complaining about needing help with a non placed
in a sexually explicit placed “Mole” inside his… cough cough cough…
“famous adult film studio”… sabotaging productions, creating other
problems… hmm… must be a King’s Quest fan. Anyway he gets the slowly
decomposing inside and out Larry II to come over to the studio and
work as a summer intern… which isn’t as exciting as it sounds since
the game got totally spade and neutered of what already spade and
neutered sexual content (ala last game) it could have had. No, really,
working in a porn studio without any sex? There’s got to be something
so wrong with that concept… and there is.

So you play as the now eunichized Larry (well technically I’m sure
he’s still fully functional Data-wise and all but… well again lack of
nudity and sex despite promises on the jewel case kinda might as well
mean the eunichification of Larry II, shouldn’t it), and you get to
roam the studio either on foot or by stealing one of the many golf
carts on the set (because they’re small, electric powered, and will
not cause a major lawsuit if you run somebody over with them… maybe…
oh, no, it can cause trouble if you start mowing people over with
them… you know what? This game isn’t that great from what I see later
in this piece, so just walk… it’s not like you’re going somewhere
EXCITING in this game and you absolutely positively must be there
now!)

Your main goal of the game is to do chores for people while searching
for the mole… yeah, but at least all the chores you did for people in
Magna Cum Laude eventually rewarded you with so so sex (a few choice
sex scenes are present in the game… which isn’t much of a compliment
since there is very little to point at past that game in terms of
sexual content in the game -- very little as a matter of fact, nothing
I think not counting the silly 30 second sex scene in Mass Effect… and
really, what the hell was the controversy over THAT again?!? Come on!
The sex scenes in this game are way longer than that 30 second
nothing!!)

Uh… sorry… got off track there for a second… where was I… oh, right, chores.
This time out you’ll do innate things like remove graffiti, deliver
packages (which may or may not have contained rubber dildoes before
the ultimate spading of the game), collecting items (see if the game
allows you to collect the time lost from your life playing this game),
and other things strung into a set of “simple” (I.e. uninspired) mini
games.

And thus my one real complaint about this woofer.
No matter what ill I said about Magna Cum Laude at least there was a
hook to that game, and that was the about half a dozen or more sex
content scenes in the game. All your efforts and hard work eventually
paid off with sex or at least a good amount of nudity. You did a lot
of retarded stuff in the game, and abit of disturbing stuff, but at
least all the efforts and mini games and people you appeased did reach
a payoff and you got something for your efforts. Here you don’t even
have what little you were given in Magna Cum Laude, and that is such a
waste. I mean why play a Leisure Suit Larry game that has been
entirely sterilized to the point of pointlessness!! Why!!

And apparently I'm not the only one who wants to dig the franchise's
shallow grave no matter how much history is attached to it. At best
when the game come out some months ago, the game’s reviews only raked
in on average about a quarter score (25% or so) on each review... and
no doubt about it, but that is a SUCK score if I ever heard one.

So, according to Wikipedia here’s what the game received in terms of a
literary cyber tongue lashing (not in the sexual way of course) from
critics post it’s Late March release.

Wikipedia
“Chris Watters of GameSpot described the game as "Mindless, repetitive
gameplay and a truly atrocious sense of humor help Leisure Suit Larry
live up to its name--it's a total bust"…”

“Charles Onyett expressed his opinion on his review of the game on IGN
as "The lowest rating numbers here at IGN are reserved for games with
nearly no redeeming qualities or interesting ideas, with next to
nothing enjoyable to offer players, and which under no circumstances
should be purchased by anyone. Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust is,
without a doubt, one of those games"…”

“Gametrailers.com gave the game a 2.3 out of 10, making it the lowest
rated game on the website.”

“Al Lowe thanked VU Games on his website for keeping him away from
what he called "the latest disaster"…”

And yet here we are, we a review of both games coming soon… pray?

Next Month : However next month we’re going to cover something more… ecchi?
So close and yet so far, that is probably the catch phrase you’ll hear
a lot in my upcoming review of DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball 1 (Xbox
Original) and 2 (XBox360).

Just a hint or breath or push harder and this could have been a full
blown lesbian erotica fest… but considering that there are more games
like this out there which DIDN’T make the journey West from Japan
short of import untranslated gaming? Well you have to thank the DOA
brand name for at least getting to play this. Review and we’ll see if
we can’t dig up that nude cheat for you as well. See you next time!

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