By Frank Weber
Copyright ©2023
Nowadays, meeting new people is nothing special. You can meet someone new in a second or two without even trying. You quite literally don’t have to lift a finger, except for a swipe or a tap.
Especially if you’re looking for a new ‘romantic’ friend.
Everything is just…there.
So, how would you go about meeting someone new without the on-line world?
How could you connect without today’s new dating app or tomorrow’s next, new dating app?
How could you ever go out on a date without DM’s or texts?
What if you lived in a time with only three – yes, that’s right, three – TV channels?
And no videos on your phone?
What if you lived in the days of rotary phones, answering machines and *69?
Those days when the only way to talk to someone was to really and actually talk to them?
Oh My God! The Horror! How did anyone ever hook up before now?
There was a time when you had to look someone in the face to ask, “What’s your name?”
It was nerve-racking, but at least you could see the emotion in those eyes looking back at you.
You could actually see if they were interested or if they just wanted you to leave them alone.
There wasn’t much need for guessing.
And there certainly was no back-and-forth texting for days on end trying to figure it out.
I’m sure it’s prehistoric by today’s standards, but you couldn’t misread their eyes the way you can misread a text. I wonder how many opportunities – business and love alike – were lost because a text was ‘taken the wrong way’.
There’s still a lot to be said for the human look and feel and touch.
And when it comes down to it, that’s what you’re really after in the first place, isn’t it?
Connecting with someone new so you can get together and feel them…?
Whether you just want someone new to talk to or just want someone for a wild sex-romp, you want to feel them. And smell them. And taste them.
Believe me, it’s not science-fiction. Those days were very real. I know because I grew up in those days, but I did all right.
Come back with me to the days of yester-year, back when a single computer was something that filled buildings, not a desktop and certainly couldn’t fit in your pocket. Computers were something only large corporations used because no one else made enough in ten years to afford one.
Back then, nothing was just…there.
Back then, there were ways to meet people without being on-line, and they will still work today if you give them half a chance. You might even be considered a retro-progressive for contemplating such insane and archaic ideas.
First off, you have to own who and what you are. Be confident in it and live it.
Don’t try to blow smoke into anything and don’t gloss it up so heavily that a fake shine is all anyone can see. Even if a perfect stranger just met you, they can tell if you’re being false. Look around you at a bar some time, and you’ll see what I mean. About the only one who can’t see through the bullshit-fog is the one blowing it around. Just be yourself. It works.
An old friend once told me, “You gotta be you and I gotta be me cause if we’re not us, who’s gonna be?” Now granted, he said that when we were both heavily impaired, well after midnight in the middle of some drunken-stoned teenage party, but it still makes a lot of sense to me even now. Just be yourself. It works.
You know who you are. You know what you are. Now just go and live who and what you are.
Then you just have to be personable. You can’t hide in some dark corner, pecking away at a phone or keyboard, under that electric-blue screen glow. Once you’ve got a handle on the person you are, all you have to do is act like that real-life person.
Not a character from a movie. Not a character from a video game.
Act like a person.
Act like the person that you are.
Act like the confident and agreeable person that you are.
Bars still seem to be the absolute best place to meet someone new, especially for hook-ups or even a long-term romance. Some folks insist on putting a negative spin on meeting people in a bar, but I say it’s still the best place to do it. They say meeting someone in a bar is cheap and can never work out, but I say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Who’s to say what works and what doesn’t, anyway?
Everyone’s inhibitions and fears are put on a shelf while they’re drinking.
Yours are, too.
The fear of speaking fades away with each glass, and at the same time, your odds of striking up a conversation – and even getting to know someone – grow considerably higher in a bar.
It doesn’t have to be in a bar, though. It could happen anywhere…in the produce aisle or standing in line at the DMV. Anywhere.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just introduce yourself to get things rolling. It’s actually pretty easy if you try it. Just be yourself and say ‘hello’ to someone you never met before.
Maybe even strike up a conversation.
Don’t try to force one, but if the opportunity presents itself, go for it.
Most of us feel the same way about meeting a stranger – we’re almost afraid to do it – so take a chance now and then. Don’t sit around waiting for some other person to make the first move – just do it yourself. You might be surprised if you actually talk to the people you meet.
Yeah…I said it…you have to actually talk to people to meet them…and without an app.
No matter how the conversation starts, be yourself, be courteous and be approachable.
It’s that simple. That’s the hidden secret for meeting someone new.
Be yourself, be courteous and be approachable.
One thing I do want to mention is this:
Treat all people like people, not like your servants (waitresses and such). If you treat all people the same and treat them well, you don’t have to say all that much because other people will notice you.
How many times have you seen a guy talking down a waitress because his ‘mojito didn’t have enough mint’? The biggest part of being human is acting human, and the folks around you can see it and they can sense it.
If you’re confident in being yourself, there’s no need to belittle someone else, now is there?
For all of my rambling, it all comes back to this simple fact – the best way to meet people is through simple human interaction. It’s a skill and ability that’s been lost over the past several years as the need to even speak to another person has been wasted away to almost nothing.
Every commercial these days wants you to sit at home and buy from them and they keep telling you ‘there’s no need to leave home’.
I have to call BULLSHIT on that one.
You’ll never get any ass if you sit at home alone on your phone every night.
Get out. Go Mingle.
Say hello to the next stranger you pass in the grocery store.
Say hello to a perfect stranger just for the hell of it.
Introduce yourself and buy a drink for the person sitting next to you at the bar.
And just say ‘hello’
Strike up a conversation with the next waitress or bartender that serves you. Not the normal drunken-idiot drivel, but a real conversation – show a genuine interest in them.
That is the only way it’s going to happen.
Get out there and be yourself.
Get out there and meet someone new!
About Frank Weber:
Frank Weber is a freelance writer from Erie, Pennsylvania. He has been published in several print and digital magazines, local interest books and advertising campaigns as both writer and model. His work encompasses a firm conviction, a simple honesty in written word and enough of a raw edge to make people feel what they read. Website: www.frankietatts.com
Twitter: @frankietatts_
Instagram: @frankietatts
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