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Mar 314 min read

Is Oral Sex in the Cards?

By Frank Weber

I never liked the term “oral sex”.

It sounds too cold and clinical to me.

I think just that term alone might turn some folks off of it.

You kiss and you suck and you lick and you eat and you swallow.

It’s all so primal, but at the same time, all so very human.

The second they start flowing, the vibrations and sensations and orgasmic explosions are all so natural.

It’s sex with your tongue and your mouth and your lips and even your teeth, with a little help from your fingers and hands on the side.

Once you’re down and into it, the reservations and worries begin to diffuse anyway.

As soon as the moaning begins.

As soon the heat rises and the beads of sweat begin to form on the skin.

As soon as the fragrances rise and the juices flow, those reservations and worries are gone.

No, I don’t much like the term “oral sex”, but I do love having it, getting it and giving it.

BUT…being afraid of it – especially if you’re not really sure ‘why’ – can cause a lot of friction in the bedroom.

If your partner craves it and you tell them, “No! Ewwww!”, it’s a little like saying, “Thanks” the first time they say, “I love you”. It can be painful.

So…when the hand’s been dealt and the chips are pushed all-in, how do you discuss it as adults so that you can both have fun and just plain feel good from mind-bending sex?

How do you do it without losing an unsure and uneasy partner?

Damn good question that is!

If you have a want and desire to give it, it’s sometimes easier to convince. You must first learn to listen to your partner’s wants and lusts just as much as their worries. A lot of the time, things will happen just from your partner knowing that you want to give them those orgasmic ecstasies.

But if you crave it to be given to you, you really need to talk openly about what you want.

Talk about why you want what you want.

Talk about how it makes you feel.

Talk about why you want it so much from your partner.

It’s about the best you can do.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are white-washed into believing that not only is sex a dirty thing, but oral sex is the worst, most disgusting thing a civilized person can do to another…and it is ten times worse to ask another to give it to you.

Too many people are conditioned to believe that giving head – whether they suck it into their mouth or plunge their tongue inside – is demeaning and psychologically crippling and there is nothing to be gained but sadness and hurt and years of emotional damage.

For Christ’s sake! No one needs a self-help group and a twelve step plan to have great sex!

It’s of the few true pleasures of life. It’s meant to be enjoyed – in all its facets.

So, enjoy it!

I look at it this way…

Creating those ecstasies and bringing on mind-bending orgasms using your tongue and your mouth is a most selfless, personal act of affection toward another human being.

It’s a way of expressing a deep want and lust and feeling for another person in an extraordinarily private way.

Some folks believe that a kiss on the mouth is the most intimate show of affection.

Interesting that even a simple kiss stems from the mouth and lips and tongue, they’re just used in a different way on a different part of the body.

Think of kissing as your mouth consuming what your heart needs to grow closer to your partner.

Think of oral sex as your mouth consuming what your body and soul need to keep you both growing together in intimate contact.

When you go down for your partner, you are consuming them – all of them – at their very core.

You can’t get much more intimate than that.

It’s pretty far from a dirty, vile, disgusting thing to be shunned at all costs.

It’s such a beautiful, enthralling, selfless and all-consuming act of human sexuality.

It’s something you do for the pleasure of your partner.

And at the same time, it’s something you can do for your own pleasure, too.

Remember the saying, ‘a man that eats pussy for his own pleasure is a special kind of evil’?

That means if he does it for himself, he greedily eats and licks and sucks and his partner is never going to be denied any bit of that carnal experience. If a man or woman goes down on their partner to get themselves off, she is going to get off twice as hard because they know what it does to both of them and they both want it – and they want it bad.

A man or woman that swallows for a man might do it only to please their partner. But if they suck because they want him to fill their mouth, and they swallow because they love the taste of it over their tongues and the feel of it running down their throat, then both can have that animalistic, hedonistic sexual experience that we all crave.

That exquisite touch of tender skin

the feel of the inner thigh

pressed against your cheek

delicious flavors dripping

over your lips and tongue

over your chin and neck

holding thighs tight and

forcing the orgasmic convulsions